How to Help a Friend Who May Be Suicidal

By A. Michele Tedder, BSN RN

Has a friend ever confided in you that they don’t feel like life is worth living or sworn you to secrecy about suicidal feelings, and you’re unsure what to do?

When you care about someone, you want to keep his or her confidence, but keeping secrets about suicidal tendencies is a mistake. Studies have shown that 75 percent of all suicide completers said or did things in the weeks or months prior to their deaths that indicated deep despair.  If the friends and loved ones of those individuals had recognized the warning signs and gotten immediate attention, the suicide may have been prevented. 

The following are a few tips on helping someone who is suicidal:

1.   Take the person seriously – Suicidal thoughts and behaviors are a cry for help.  It is not true that if a person talks about it, they won’t do it.

2.     Listen – A suicidal person is in need of a lot of emotional support.  Do not pass judgment. Be patient and supportive.

3.   Do not promise to keep secrets – Let the person know that you are glad they trusted you, but that you care about them so much that you want them to remain alive.  Offer to help them to tell a trusted adult about their feelings.  If your friend resists this idea, you will need to act on their behalf and tell an adult who can help.

4.   Ask your friend if they are able to keep themselves safe – If the answer is “no,” do not leave them alone and seek immediate medical attention. 

5.     Remain Calm –Your friend needs you to be in control to provide a sense of stability.  Let your friend know that you are invested in helping them get the help they need to discover better ways to deal with their pain.

Suicide is a very serious problem but is preventable.  Immediate intervention is the key.  If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, help is available through Services for Teens at Risk (412) 246-5619, your local emergency room or by calling 1-800-SUICIDE.

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Michele Tedder, BSN, RN is the Project Coordinator for Reaching Out to Adolescents with Depression (ROAD) an outreach program serving adolescents with behavioral health issues at UPMC. ROAD also offers workshops to educate the community about mental illness. If you would like to have more information or to schedule an appointment you may reach Michele by calling 1-866-670-ROAD(7623)

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