By Barbara Killmeyer

I recently received a compliment about my sons, and I gave my usual response: “Thank you, but they turned out that way in spite of me, not because of me.” My friend told me that my husband and I must have done something right, and we should take credit for it. That made me think about how many times in our lives we make light of our accomplishments and abilities. We are trained from childhood not to brag about ourselves, and through the years that has somehow grown to include playing down any role we may have in a successful project.

This self put-down happens not only with major projects, but with many skills that we have and take for granted.

Gentlemen, how often have you helped your neighbor with some minor car problem, gave advice that brought good results, did some home repair or remodeling work, or volunteered with a youth group to lead young people in the right direction and give them moral standards to live by?

Ladies, think of the many times you served a special meal, one that took skill and know-how to put together. Have you had the courage to start a business of your own and make a financial success of it? Some women have a special ability to comfort others, to know just the right words for any occasion. Do children enjoy time with you because you make it fun and they love to be with you? This is a special talent and should be recognized as such.

The usual response to compliments about your particular skill is, “Oh it’s nothing,” or “Anybody can do that.” That is a wrong answer. We’ve spent a lifetime developing our talents and helping others so it’s time to stop shying away from compliments. This is not easy because it isn’t what we are accustomed to, but a good start is a sincere “thank you” and a repression of the urge to make light of your efforts. You are receiving a compliment because you deserve one, so enjoy it and feel good about the fact that your efforts are appreciated.

We’ve lived a lot of years. I like to think that we’ve learned a number of things along the way that makes each of us special and gives us the chance to make the lives of others, especially family, better by using what we have learned. Think of all you have accomplished and all the skills you have mastered, then give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it.

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