By Robert and Michele Tedder

With today’s busy lifestyles it has become increasingly difficult for families to spend time together. Once upon a time sitting down to have a family meal was a daily event. Sadly, in the 21st century finding time to have a family meal seems to be a “special event.” At our home Sunday is usually the guaranteed day of the week when our family is able to sit and have a family meal together.

Recently we were having Sunday dinner with our 8 year old when he asked, “May I be excused”?  Initially we were a little stunned by the request since “Sunday” dinners have been a longtime tradition at our house. All of our children know that this is a cherished time where attendance is almost mandatory. When we asked why he wanted to be excused, he politely told us that we were engaged in conversation that didn’t involve him. Thanks to his honesty, we quickly realized that though we were at the table together somehow we were not spending “quality time” as a family. At our son’s prompting we quickly switched our conversation to a topic that was of interest to everyone.

 Because life’s demands often limit the quantity of time families share, creating an environment where all family members can engage in mutually enjoyable conversation and activities is important. Studies show that family dinners help children develop language skills, decrease the likelihood of teenage experimentation with drugs and alcohol and improve their overall school performance.

Spending quality family time is an opportunity for all family members to improve communication, offer support to one another and learn about what’s important in each other’s lives. Spending time together must be intentional. The following are a few suggestions for how families can increase their amount of quality time spent together:

• Determine a designated time and place when the family can be together
• Do not allow anything to interfere with the time you set aside
• Encourage each family member to suggest a topic of discussion or activity to engage in
• Be sure each family member has equal opportunity to participate
• Create a safe environment for open and honest communication

Despite life’s hectic schedules and constant competition for our time, achieving quality family time and routines is possible. The key is making a deliberate effort to include family time on our calendars. In making this effort families will experience more satisfying relationships, develop communication and improve life outcomes for children.

Rev. Robert Tedder, MSW, Executive Director of Reach Up, Inc. and the Minister of Counseling at Union Baptist Church of Swissvale, is a licensed social worker with 18 years of clinical experience. A graduate of Duquesne University and the University of Pittsburgh, he is an adjunct instructor at the University of Pittsburgh, Site Coordinator for TWOgether Pittsburgh and a marriage coach for The Marriage Works.

A. Michele Tedder, MS, RN is a nursing instructor at UPMC St. Margaret School of Nursing with an 18 year history at Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic as a nurse clinician and mental health and wellness community educator. She is also a graduate of the University of Pittsburgh and Indiana University of Pennsylvania. Michele is an author, regional speaker and experienced in the area of adolescent depression and suicide. The Tedders are the co-founders of Transformational Living (formerly Household Ministries), a marriage, family and life wellness educational outreach program, and have been married 23 years. They live in White Oak and have three children, Robyn, Ryan and Ross.

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